Say No to Year-End Lists

You could have won the Nobel Prize in 2023, and still on 30th December 2023, while sitting down to list your achievements think, “Yaar, but I didn’t go to the gym this year.”

Dec 27, 2023

I hate New Year’s Eve. In the week leading up to New Year’s, you are expected to do that dreaded thing called introspection. And ask yourself entirely unnecessary questions like “What did you achieve this year?”

The truly infuriating thing about this whole list-your-achievements nonsense is, that irrespective of what you have done, it’s a question designed to make you feel like a loser. You could have won the Nobel Prize in 2023, and still on 29th December 2023, while sitting down to list your achievements think, “Yaar, but I didn’t go to the gym this year.” It doesn’t matter. It’s a game you are rigged to lose. (Though, if you did win the Nobel, have some fun in life please.)

Admittedly, this week is a time when I transform into a New Year’s Scrooge, and am often found saying “bah, humbug!” to my Instagram feed with alarming frequency. Not least because the week leading up to New Year’s is also a time where I guarantee more people feel lonely than not. Everyone seems to not only have had the best year, but also are having the best week celebrating that year. Which, please, who are you lying to.

I think the problem with the pressure we feel as the year draws to a close is our expectation that life unfolds in straight lines. But life is not a performance evaluation. It’s quite messy, actually. Think about it. Every good day you’ve had this year has probably been followed by a couple of meh days. Every bad day still has moments that make you think “Wow, we really lucked out as humans, didn’t we?”
Our glorious human tendency is to impose order on our gloopy experience of life. We come to life with five-year plans, expectations of milestones, and growth hacks. Life says, "Abbe, chal na."

And so, in honour of the gloop-iness of 2023, here’s a…list. (I know, bear with me!) Not of achievements or things I am proud of this year. But just an inconsequential, scattered-type, maybe-list of things. That made me chuckle. Or wished I knew earlier. Or wanted to remind myself of. You get the drift.

Presenting — the anti-year-end list.

The idea that we, as a human race, have figured out how to keep a plane in mid-air is incredible. Every time I am in a plane and it lands, I want to clap. Then, I remember how I get jostled when I am getting off the plane.

Gel manicures are very fun.

Friendship break-ups are not fun.

Everything IS terrible. There’s a genocide happening. People still want to be apolitical. We are seeing our hard-won democracy tank in front of our eyes. But hope is also one terrible persistent thing. Life is about knowing when to pick what.

Chemistry is real. So is logic. When you meet someone, life is also about knowing when to pick what.

Writing is a muscle. The more you use it, the better.

Patience also is a muscle. Things really do happen to you, if you just let them. I would get this as a tattoo, if I were a tattoo-person. (I am not.)

Loneliness comes for everyone. You can be single, or married. Alone at home, or in a party with friends. Young, or old. It doesn’t matter. You can’t run from it. At some point, you have to look at it in its eye and ask, “So, you want some Chinese food or what?”

Chinese food is the best thing to order for most occasions.

Aging is a privilege. Better people than us don’t get that privilege. Celebrate your stupid birthday.

If you’re a young woman, financial independence is a game-changer. Also applicable to not-so-young women.

Take that long walk.

Also, take that hot shower.

Having values and principles to live life by is not an old-fashioned concept. Sometimes, it’s the criteria with which your decision-making becomes simpler. Our parents and grandparents were on to something.

If you can, live by yourself for a bit.

If they would have wanted to ask you out, they would have.

People think less about you than you think they do.

I have taken many decisions in life by asking myself, “Will I be able to sleep well at night?” if you’re looking for a decision-making matrix in 2024.

Having one friend with whom you can live-text a stupid show you’re watching can make you look at the world with renewed appreciation.

One day, you will go visit your friend who is pregnant, see her waddling about, and have intense flashbacks of loitering around in the school corridor stuffing your face with chhole bhature. You will wonder if she is the same person. She is, sort of. And so are you, sort of.

Chhole bhature is a beautiful invention.

It’s okay to not always have a plan.

The pressure to have a good New Year’s is not worth it.

What's Usually Left Out

Discussion about this post